Green Zone Follies

Baghdad , 20 Feb 08, “There is nothing new here to report. The troops are clearing out one nest of patriots only to have them move down the road. The DoD is fudging on the death tolls and they never mention the lunatics, the drug use or the semi-mutinous grunts, the constant attacks on the Green Zone with mortars and rockets and so on, and on. I am considered useful so I get to stay here. At least I get good food and relative safety unlike the foot troops. Now, the nutty Cheney wants to hive off more troops to invade Pakistan to help out their vanishing dictator. Never happen, Dick. And here is just a personal vignette of an experience I and my psychologist buddy had with the Republican probable nominee, Senator McCain. He came here, as you might know, to “inspect the situation.” Jesus, what a farce! There he was, walking around a marketplace with more armed guards than Bush has, and wearing a huge bullet-proof vest. Anyway, after he “inspected” the market, he came to the Green Zone for some rigged conference with the lying generals. My buddy and I were going to visit another friend when we saw guards, etc, in front of a rec room door. Curious, we went into another unguarded room, opened several doors and guess what? There was the Senator all by himself, sitting on a folding chair by a card table. We were a little awed so I said ‘Hello, Senator. Sorry to bother you.” He looked at us like we were cows and kept blinking. Finally, he smiled and said, ‘Hey, there, soldiers! How is it going? Is it going good?” and my friend the shrink said, “Why yes, Senator. Everything is great!” And McCain smiled at nothing and looked around the room.

“Well…I’m glad to hear it. You are the General?” And I said, a little sarcastically, “Why no, Senator, not quite yet.” And he looked at me like I was a sheep or something, smiling s silly smile. “Oh” he said to the table, “Let’s hope it gets a little cooler here. Have you been here long?” My friend said, “Too long Senator.” “Why that’s good, General,” the Senator replied to the ceiling. Then his lips moved but he said nothing. He looked up and smiled. My wife’s grandfather did just that. And the Senator may have been sitting right near us but believe me, he was somewhere else. Then he began a conversation with someone who wasn’t there and my friend took my arm and said, “I think we should get the hell out of here,” and we started to go back the way we came when some civilian came in. “It’s time to go to the meeting, John,” but McCain just smiled and kept on talking to the table. The civilian said, “All right, gentlemen, time to go. The Senator is very tired and has jet lag.” And when we left, the Senator was talking complete nonsense. Later, one of the staff personnel told both of us that the Senator had “a little accident” and he had to change his pants. Jesus H. Christ! This nut is going to be a President? My friend, who is a pro, said he was very obviously suffering from pre-Alzheimer’s and believe me, although I am not trained,  this one was a pure space case. They must know this. I guess they give him a shot of something before he gets out in public but if you  saw him with a vacant stare, talking to himself, you would not have to be a professional shrink to know that putting this pathetic man into the Oval Office would be a worse mistake than putting Bush in. At least as far as we know, Bush doesn’t talk to the walls and wet himself.”

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